Negative!!

Lost, fear, doubtful.......negative!!

Recently really emo a lot...lots of stuff came into my mind, nearly wanna cry when I was alone. Thought I'm big boy enough to handle everything but I'm not that strong enough to face everything. Not young though....time pass very fast..really worry bout' my future. Wanna do lots of things but I can't see the light =(

Talked to my buddy..seems like different people were giving me different opinion. Don't know why...since when, I'm lost. I'm fear...of everything. Seeing everyone around me is like having a bright career and future....but I'm still in the same pace. Lost.. Fear... and doubtful... Why?? Am I too negative?

Really fell into the deep this time......god, I need guidance =((((

from my heart........

So many things wanna tell. So many things wanna listen......but...sigh

something changed...but can't figure it out. suddenly so hard to for us to communicate.. try to make some effort for it....but seems like it didn't work well... Am I'm thinking too much sometimes? Have I done something wrong? Or...I'm not that good enough?

time to sleep and don't want to think anymore....

JRock no Tamashii 2

Yes!!!! I know it's a bit late for me to post this....and I'll be performing with my band soon in just about less than 15 hours. Probably nobody will read my post in the middle of the night...LOL

Anyway, if you got nothing to do, just break up, nidda do some exercise, wanna be a mad dog on this boring Sunday, which is tomorrow, just come over to JRock no Tamashii 2 at 3pm. You can shout like nobody there, run like a mad dog or even keep shaking your head like you had pills. It's Rock gig and all the bands will be performing japanese and anime songs.

Actually, I've knew bout this gig since I was Form 6 and I keep telling myself for sure, I will get in there one day. And it finally dream come true. But on the other side, it would be the last time for my band to perform since my bassist is leaving to China this month. Temporary we don't have our future plan yet..kinda sad huh? Anyway, if you like Jrock or...you are one of our supporters. Please please please.....come and get high with me! This time...we are going to high till the MAX!

So...what are you waiting for?? come lar wei..for more info, please type Jrock Tamashii then you will find the details.

*It's a special moment for me, really hope that someone who is important for me can share this moment with me. You meant more than anyone else. If you were there, I would be really glad and excited but...guess you won't show up this time..suan le ba =( *

I just want a change!!

I just want a change! To have a better financial situation.
I just want a change! To have a better lifestyle.
I just want a change! To have a good behavior.
I just want a change! To have a strong mindset.
I just want a change! To become a good leader.
I just want a change! To be an outstanding person.
I just want a change! To get closer to my dream.
I just want a change! To impress and motivate people around me.

And~~~~
I just want a change! To prove everyone that what I've said is not a JOKE!

To my friend,
I might be very weak now. I might be very down sometimes. I might be not smart enough or not flexible enough. I might be can't click with you most of the time. You probably might look down on me...thinking I'm an ego person or what. But honestly, I just want to improve everything. I'm really scare to look backwards again. I'm willingly to learn to everything. I try to be positive everyday. I try to be more responsibility. I try to be more hardworking when you are lazy. I'm willingly to accept every critics and slowly improve. I just wanna be a better person. I wake up early every morning and attend the meeting no matter what.....just to let you know, 'We NEED a CHANGE'. As we promise to our leader before.

I just want to achieve the vision together. And we are partner. You might not be my leader anymore but I do treat you as one of my best friends (although I don't follow your living style). You are the one who bring me to here and I do sincerely treat you as my partner. Why you will hate me sometimes?? I never hate you before....just disappointed sometimes when you behave as previous. Still remember how you said that you wanna change? I believe what you've said and wish that we could achieve together. It's so simple. I know you will run off sometimes...so I set myself as a role model to prove to you that we still can walk along to overcome every obstacles. Why you will think I'm Lan 9 7 you?

I know I might be negative sometimes and I don't know the way to talk. But I really try hard to learn it and improve it. I just being honest with true friends. If you are not my true friends, I don't even wanna care. But still....I will improve my weakness. So, next time you will feel better when I give comment to you.

Bro....have you reflect yourself?

I just want a change. And we can achieve it together. THAT'S ALL....

What am I thinking.....?

Guess I've been thinking a lot lately....worry, worry and worry =( lots of negative thinking in my mind.. Tried to make myself happy a bit. Watch TV, play games, hang out with my gang but....still the same.. What happen to me? Anyone can tell? Am I having depression??

Wish I know what I'm thinking....everything will be fine =x


God bless~ =)