you....

I know....it's been around 2 months..

but why I still keeping that memories? I should give up but why I still stubborn? thinking still have that little chance? oh..come on..don't make me laugh..

Little update!!

actually..I really don't have much time to blog recently because of the upcoming live band performance. But...sometimes just feel emo and wanna post something here..

Bout' my preparation for the performance... I'm really scare..worry that my band can't finish on time..and it affected others. I don't want to fail everyone. Felt like I'm such a failure..nothing good in me. Study? ya..I can get a not bad result although I not really study but...it's almost 2 years I'm studying degree..I still don't know what I'm studying, what's the knowledge I obtain. All I know is study to score so I won't fail everyone...especially my parents who give high hope on me. Seeing everyone keep talking bout economics issue but I really don't know what are they talking about. Basketball? Still no improvement.. Socialize? no..people don't dare to approach me...maybe they think like I'm some kind of weirdo. I don't have confidence in making new friends either. Music? no..no..no improvement too. Seeing my bandmates all have improved but I still stay on the same floor..what have I done all these years? I really not good in planning and doing everything. And I keep causing others trouble..seeing their blog scolding me indirectly..I'm such a failure..

Everyday, I motivate myself, saying that everyday will be a good day..working hard for everyday..wanna enjoy my life but sometimes just will feel the pressure..don't know where it comes from. Don't know why...performing on stage has become a pressure for me since last few months..I will feel nervous sometimes..previously I won't, I will enjoy every moment on stage. I wanna find back the way I am..the one who can rocking on the stage..but I have lost. Maybe as my bandmates said, this year will be my last performance in UM too..I wanna left something good memories here before I leave. I wanna move further with my bandmates but...can we? Some of us will graduate soon..think everyone of us will have our own path. I wanna appreciate every moment that we spent together... Met a very good taxi driver on my birthday..he told me..I must not have this type of mind set, 'playing music just because of my interest'. Even playing music can bring earn money and a future also..who knows? It's a miracle.. If you have this 'just for interest' thinking..probably you won't go far. I agreed with him but we still have to face the reality.. Anyway, thanks for his advice. What he said really motivated me, I know..my future career is not music but I will try my best to improve myself..make sure I will have a best performance and enjoy every moment...currently still working on it. Hopefully I can see a shining light soon..

I do face some sad and difficult moments...just wish that someone was there for me but...it won't happen.. Probably She still think that I'm wasting time with all these stupid stuff...still useless as usual..no secure.. Even my parents not supporting me.. Not going to care..I just wanna do something that I do is right so that I won't regret in my life.. Probably I will smile and telling my legend stories to my grandson when they asked me bout my PRS guitar..LOL. But..do you know..you are the one who can enlightened me when I'm falling into the deep hole?

I wanna finish my task on time...then I can throw everything away..and just have fun on the stage with my bandmates that already accompany me through this 1 year..

so..will you all coming to my performance? it's on 24/2/10,7pm in my campus..

You are not alone!!

Just got a phone call from my closest dude..after I listened what he told me...I also don't know what can I do for him. I felt the sad feeling just like him too. Maybe we both are the same type. Still remember he cried on the phone..It is the first time that he cried in front of me. All this while I thought he is very strong cuz' he is the one who always protect me when we were kids. But I can feel...he is very down right now. It's really really a shocking news when he told me he has broke up with her. "How come? I thought all this while you both are very sweet?" I said. In this world, there's really really hard to find a perfect match. But if you found one, you really have to appreciate it. Tried to don't let it go. I can see....you are a nice guy just like me(lol...cuz' we are from the same gene huh?) You put a lot of effort...but things are...it just happened like that. It's part of our life..just a test for us. What I can say is...maybe she's not your 'the one'. You are young...I bet that you can find a better one. But..anyway,don't change the way you are right now. Some of my friends has became playboy once they broke up with the one they love the most. I just care you...don't follow my friends footsteps k?

sigh...I do wish to give you some good advice just now but...even me also same as you..still haven't recover yet..I really felt the sadness not long ago just the same as yours right now. By the way, you are not alone. I'm always be with your side. Anything..I will do it for you. It's time for me to protect you. You are not alone..be strong. We will work hard together k? See you on this saturday then we will have beer for whole night...chill^^

2010!!!

Yea^^...today is 1/1/2010!! A brand new year!!

Let's review what I have done last year..hmm.. In the first half year..everything quite good..have my first big performance, form a band, started to have performance at outside, academic result still not bad tho'.. but the next half year...not really well..band crisis, too pressure with all my task,working hard on my study and the saddest thing happen just one month ago~~sigh.. Anyway, still got some excited stuff..doing video live recording and recently got my music job. Consider not bad already right?

Now..have to continue my goal which haven't achieve last year..have to work hard starting from now!! Don't wanna think of other stuff anymore...put more effort working on my target!! LOL..i only know how to say but..hopefully I can have more confidence on myself..really work on it this time. Suddenly felt I'm old already..gotta be 22 in next 10 days..no time for me to waste anymore. Haha..think I got this motivation after watching a new Japanese drama, Buzzer Beat. The main character Naoki is a basketball player, always hope that he can be the top player in the future but he can't even be the starting 5 in his team although he is really talented. He is so weak, lack of motivation and confidence too. Even his 2 years long girlfriend find another guy and break up with him but Naoki is really really a nice guy...really love and care for her. His girlfriend just can't understand him. After that, Naoki really work hard and there's a pretty girl really support her. She is a musician. They both encourage each other and believe that they can succeed their dream. Finally, they both become a couple and I still remember the ending an old man told the pretty girl..'Love Makes You Strong'. Isn't that cool? LOL..but it's hard to happen in this real world leh.. Anyway, I must believe myself that I can do it. So, let's work hard together my fellas..

Finally, wish myself can have a best performance in the upcoming concert. It meas a lot to me and my bandmates since some of us are going to graduate soon. These also may create chance to have more outside performance. And..since I'm the producer for that concert too..of course I wanna make it the best ever concert in my campus. I really change many ideas instead of doing the same like every year. So,hopefully this time can bring the great impact. Thirdly, wish that my 4th college basketball team can move further..I have started to train myself..really wanna help them to win the title this year. Lastly, this sem is really sucks for me..nobody can guide me doing assignment anymore..everything I have to work it anymore. Hopefully I can get through and get a better result than last year. Happy new Year to everyone...enjoy the wonderful 2010 and follow your dream...way up to our glamorous sky^^

Jason Rockz = Music teacher??

Yea...start working as a part time music teacher this month. Now teaching at Mama Treble Clef Studio at Carrefour, Sri Petaling. The boss and the principal are so friendly and they being quite nice to me. Lol..I always chit chat with the boss when I'm free. He always shared his experience and talk about the local music scence. Since I'm still in the learning stage, I only teach the beginner and lower intermediate level. Currently...only 2 students under me and I also help other teachers do replacement class. Lol..meet different students while doing this replacement class..from 9-25 year old..quite funny tho. Yup...principal promise me that will help me get more students under me as possible...so..I can get higher salary. Currently, my salary is 50% of every student's monthly fees.

Actually..found that my monthly allowance is not enough to me. So, I have to find a part time job but cant work for fix time. So, working as part time music teacher is the best choice for me and..it's my interest as well.. Not bad right? can work what I like and at the same time earn some money. Besides, I can borrow as many books as I like frome the music center. So, I can learn more without wasting money to buy new books. And...teaching the students can help me improve my skills as well...since I lack of time to practice. Now I can make use of my time to practice more while teaching. Yea, I have to take part some performacen which organize by my music center also. Not bad huh?

ya..forgotten to tell you guys..I'm teaching guitar(acoustic,classical,electric) on every Saturday.. So if you guys interested to learn from me..just go to Mama Treble Clef Studio and book my time..just tell them you want Jason to teach...haha^^



inside Mama Treble Clef Studio