Welcome to Jason's Rockermania!!

醒来后……

2011-12-06T00:54:00.002+08:00

醒來后，你早就不在我的身邊
是我不懂，要怎麼去面對……
醒來後，我已經錯過了時間
要怎麼才能夠挽回，要怎麼才能夠挽回這一切……

The worst thing that can happen to a person is...you are lying to yourself that you are not alone, but the fact is..everytime when you wake up from your dream, you found out that you are alone actually. You've lost, got no direction and you don't know where should you go anymore. Whatever you did....it probably can't turn back anymore. It's the saddest moment that you are going through. From now on, please appreciate everyone around you..especially your love ones.

I remain silent all the while since that day..staying away from everything, doesn't mean I got no feeling at all. Wearing my poker face, pretend to be tough and...hide myself at the far far corner..cuz' I choose to keep everything to myself and...looking at you...silently. After everything we had gone through....do you think it's so easy to erase everything and start a new journey? =(

I wish....it could turn back to where we started.

别回答

2011-11-28T12:50:00.001+08:00

无缘

2011-11-26T00:39:00.006+08:00

Sometime...really feel like god is playing with us...

Just knew...we were so close today....really really close!! Probably we were just few meters away..Same Time! Same place!

But.......the funny thing is.....

We didn't notice bout' it and we couldn't see each other...

It's the destiny...

'无缘' =(

Last....and my true words..

2011-11-20T22:44:00.007+08:00

Probably....this is the last post that I wanna post here. Found out that I posted lots of emo stuff here. Realize there are few people read my blog..and they were worry bout me. Shouldn't let them worry anymore. But...it's so hard to keep everything by myself. There's nobody that I can really talk to. Wanna talk and share with you but I don't get a chance to do so.....here is the last place that I can tell out my feelings and probably.....maybe to let you know =(

Recently lots of stuff happened....the things around us has changed and the people changed. Try to make it back as normal as we had before...but it won't back to what we used to have. But no matter how, I tried my best to love you, care you and appreciate you. I tried my best to show you how I care for you and how I think of you. I always wish that you are willingly to tell and share with me your problems. I might be not always on time for you but I really try my best to be there for you no matter how. I put effort on us...just to let you know I'm serious with our relationships. But the thing...it doesn't work out. The way I did most probably wrong....I couldn't bring you secure. I couldn't bring you trust. You choose to close the door for me. Suddenly I felt...I'm just like a stranger for you. I'm not the one that you used to love anymore.

You are the one who told me with 7 words, 'forever and always, I will love you'. And with this...I take this as my believe and my promise. I really work hard to build our future cuz I know...we are going to walk side by side for the journey in the future. No matter how hard the obstacles are...your hand is the only thing I wanna hold with. I never think that you are not good enough for me, maybe sometimes you treated me a little bit bad...but it doesn't matter...... Cuz' I know, from deep down of your heart, You are the one who love me the most and I really appreciate it. It's not that easy to find someone that you love and she loves you with her heart. That's why...not matter how harsh that you told me..I use all of my heart to save it back. I don't wish to complain anything...just the thing is...I felt like you not used to treat me like you have before. I'm worry and I'm scare of losing you. Probably some mistakes that I've done before makes you treat me like that but...everyone does has mistakes. Could you accept it if you love me? I don't expect anything from you...I just wish that you could care me like how sweet you did before. Just a little bit is enough to cheer my day =( I'm not complaining...I just wanna tell you the problem so that you would know.. If I really don't care of it and treat it like nothing...probably you are not that important in my heart anymore. But the fact is...I didn't do so...

Wish to meet you today and have a talk with you.....but you choose to turn down. Know you will be having test soon....so....after few days ba =(

Guess you might be reading it or not. But...Just to let you know...we are couples. Everything about you will related to me. We share every hard time and happiness together. What you did will affected me. How you feel will related to my feelings as well. If we really love each other...we shall love our hearts out...there's nothing to hide...and we trust on each other.

Probably...I'm not that good enough for you..and might not meet what you expected. The way I care you was wrong...and makes you feel that I'm so annoying. The promise I gave...only bring you disappointment. I don't deserve anything from you. From now on...you have all the freedom that you want to..without thinking of me. You have all the time you want to...without spending a single minute for me. You can do what you like..without caring how I feel. I don't mean anything for you anymore...I won't control you. Guess you will live better without me... It's the last and the true words that I wanna say and not gonna post at here anymore. I will keep everything with myself...

Still remember....it was the song playing when the first time I confessed to you. Hope that it could pamper me to sleep better tonight. It's been 3 nights continuously that I can't sleep already. God bless =)

Appreciate

2011-11-20T02:17:00.003+08:00

After my bandmate had invited me for the 2nd time, I decided to follow him to City Harvest Church. When I reached there, listening the gospel songs....suddenly my heart feel so calm. The band not bad though, enjoyed the songs and the way they played.

The talks given by the pastor is quite interesting though...was sharing about relationships and marriage. Suddenly learn something new....relationships and marriage is not a try out...it's a journey and you have to try your best to maintain it. It just like a car, and you need to refuel or else it will run dry.

By the way, thanks to my bandmate and his girlfriend prayed for me with their heart. Know you both trying the best to cheer me up and...kinda touching. The tears rolling in my eyes when listening you both prayed. But....the things....just let the God to decide. However, sincerely...thanks to you both =)

Anyway, I'm still a Buddhism...haha.

God bless us...

Not the one....

2011-11-19T01:34:00.004+08:00

Perhaps....there's a thick wall between us..

Making effort to change myself, to care you more, to be considerate, to understand you more, to compromise...

But all you can think of....is just you and your stuff..

Perhaps, I'm not the one who is important for you anymore...

Something wanna tell~~

2011-11-14T00:03:00.003+08:00

There's something really hard to understand... When I didn't inform you, you said I didn't inform you and not happy with it. When I'm telling you where I've been and inform you I'll be late, you are not happy with it also. Either I tell or not....still die. Do you think I really wanna back late? I do wish to back early too... Would you listen the reason I wanna give? Or you want me to make a lie to you???...which I don't want to. Have I really angry you before when you did the same?

I just wish that someone can listen to me and be my side...end up both being silent....

Dizzy....guess I'm not feeling well... Thought you will care me more...ended up just 1 sentence from you... Sometimes I really don't know.....am I still that important for you? Or am I just expecting too much from you? Or you really don't know how to express how much you care? Sometimes I pretend to be ok doesn't mean I'm really ok at all....I do need someone pamper me too =(

Ended up I pamper my own self to sleep...

*hopefully I will be recovered by tomorrow...god bless*

Negative!!

2011-11-09T00:53:00.002+08:00

Lost, fear, doubtful.......negative!!

Recently really emo a lot...lots of stuff came into my mind, nearly wanna cry when I was alone. Thought I'm big boy enough to handle everything but I'm not that strong enough to face everything. Not young though....time pass very fast..really worry bout' my future. Wanna do lots of things but I can't see the light =(

Talked to my buddy..seems like different people were giving me different opinion. Don't know why...since when, I'm lost. I'm fear...of everything. Seeing everyone around me is like having a bright career and future....but I'm still in the same pace. Lost.. Fear... and doubtful... Why?? Am I too negative?

Really fell into the deep this time......god, I need guidance =((((

from my heart........

2011-11-03T01:09:00.003+08:00

So many things wanna tell. So many things wanna listen......but...sigh

something changed...but can't figure it out. suddenly so hard to for us to communicate.. try to make some effort for it....but seems like it didn't work well... Am I'm thinking too much sometimes? Have I done something wrong? Or...I'm not that good enough?

time to sleep and don't want to think anymore....

JRock no Tamashii 2

2011-10-16T02:27:00.005+08:00

Yes!!!! I know it's a bit late for me to post this....and I'll be performing with my band soon in just about less than 15 hours. Probably nobody will read my post in the middle of the night...LOL

Anyway, if you got nothing to do, just break up, nidda do some exercise, wanna be a mad dog on this boring Sunday, which is tomorrow, just come over to JRock no Tamashii 2 at 3pm. You can shout like nobody there, run like a mad dog or even keep shaking your head like you had pills. It's Rock gig and all the bands will be performing japanese and anime songs.

Actually, I've knew bout this gig since I was Form 6 and I keep telling myself for sure, I will get in there one day. And it finally dream come true. But on the other side, it would be the last time for my band to perform since my bassist is leaving to China this month. Temporary we don't have our future plan yet..kinda sad huh? Anyway, if you like Jrock or...you are one of our supporters. Please please please.....come and get high with me! This time...we are going to high till the MAX!

So...what are you waiting for?? come lar wei..for more info, please type Jrock Tamashii then you will find the details.

*It's a special moment for me, really hope that someone who is important for me can share this moment with me. You meant more than anyone else. If you were there, I would be really glad and excited but...guess you won't show up this time..suan le ba =( *

I just want a change!!

2011-09-21T00:04:00.002+08:00

I just want a change! To have a better financial situation.
I just want a change! To have a better lifestyle.
I just want a change! To have a good behavior.
I just want a change! To have a strong mindset.
I just want a change! To become a good leader.
I just want a change! To be an outstanding person.
I just want a change! To get closer to my dream.
I just want a change! To impress and motivate people around me.

And~~~~
I just want a change! To prove everyone that what I've said is not a JOKE!

To my friend,
I might be very weak now. I might be very down sometimes. I might be not smart enough or not flexible enough. I might be can't click with you most of the time. You probably might look down on me...thinking I'm an ego person or what. But honestly, I just want to improve everything. I'm really scare to look backwards again. I'm willingly to learn to everything. I try to be positive everyday. I try to be more responsibility. I try to be more hardworking when you are lazy. I'm willingly to accept every critics and slowly improve. I just wanna be a better person. I wake up early every morning and attend the meeting no matter what.....just to let you know, 'We NEED a CHANGE'. As we promise to our leader before.

I just want to achieve the vision together. And we are partner. You might not be my leader anymore but I do treat you as one of my best friends (although I don't follow your living style). You are the one who bring me to here and I do sincerely treat you as my partner. Why you will hate me sometimes?? I never hate you before....just disappointed sometimes when you behave as previous. Still remember how you said that you wanna change? I believe what you've said and wish that we could achieve together. It's so simple. I know you will run off sometimes...so I set myself as a role model to prove to you that we still can walk along to overcome every obstacles. Why you will think I'm Lan 9 7 you?

I know I might be negative sometimes and I don't know the way to talk. But I really try hard to learn it and improve it. I just being honest with true friends. If you are not my true friends, I don't even wanna care. But still....I will improve my weakness. So, next time you will feel better when I give comment to you.

Bro....have you reflect yourself?

I just want a change. And we can achieve it together. THAT'S ALL....

What am I thinking.....?

2011-09-18T21:14:00.002+08:00

Guess I've been thinking a lot lately....worry, worry and worry =( lots of negative thinking in my mind.. Tried to make myself happy a bit. Watch TV, play games, hang out with my gang but....still the same.. What happen to me? Anyone can tell? Am I having depression??

Wish I know what I'm thinking....everything will be fine =x

God bless~ =)

You'll never know~~

2011-08-19T23:56:00.002+08:00

so many many many things that I wanna tell ya....

I wish that you can understand my situation
I wish that you can understand how hard is my job
I wish that you are the only one who support me when I'm down
No matter how my parents disagree with what I'm doing...
even if only you just one, already enough to make me have the courage to go on further
I wish that you are the one who pamper me back when I'm sad
I wish that you can trust me more
I wish that you know I'm working hard to have a better future for us
I wish that you know...you are the only motivator for me to drive on
I wish that you can control your temper sometimes
I wish that you can talk to me
I wish that you know how much I miss you when you not around
I wish that
I wish that.......

I wish that
you know how much....
I love you
and....
it never change.

but guess....you'll never know~~

WEAK!!!!

2011-06-16T21:44:00.002+08:00

just left bout' 7 days to the financial closing....I'm still the same, can't produce anything. Seeing all the people around me has qualify for the convention trip...but I'm still at the same pace. I know....I can't blame for everything...but I'm really scare....lack of energy and lack of confidence. I'm just too weak. wanna find someone to talk to....but nobody there. Thinking to talk to you.......but haiz....having war again~~~

*end up.....crying alone~~~*

No matter what...I must not give up!!!!! 7 days left...

A Happy Day

2011-06-13T22:57:00.002+08:00

Was really really excited today. Get to see my honey this evening. It's been around 1 month that I didn't see her. She's at the hometown for this long long long semester break while I was busy working and preparing the gig which held last night. She came back to KL last night cuz' was having an external paper exam this afternoon. I knew, she's been so hardworking for the exam and finally.....she PASSED!! hooray =)

Although just manage to meet you up for less than 2 hours =( but.....you do made my day^^ Will come to visit you for next 2 weeks le....keke.

Anyway, will update bout' my performance at the SUKMA 2011 once I got the photos. I came out a side project, 'Jack In The Box'. Stay tune =)

Gig at SUKMA 2011 Closing Ceremony

2011-06-12T12:15:00.003+08:00

hey guys....I'm going to perform at SUKMA 2011 Closing Ceremony tonight with my new side project, "JACK In The Box". Location will be at Mini Stadium Majlis Sukan Negara Malaysia, Bukit Jalil. It just located beside the Bukit Jalil National Stadium. Anyway...although it's not the national stadium..but it still looks huge for me. I went to there for sound check yesterday and I was stunt!! OMG...its like having a mini concert...and we are the only guest performance for live band.

So...we will be performing 7 songs tonight. The list are:
1. Mimpi yang sempurna - Peterpan
2. Just Dance - Lady Gaga
3. Always be my baby - David Cook
4. Monsoon - Tokio Hotel
5. Time is running out - Muse
6. Demi Cinta - Kerispatih
7. Without you - Own composed song

Alright...so these are the details:
time: 7.30pm
entrace: FREE!!!
venue: Mini Stadium Majlis Sukan Negara Malaysia, Bukit Jalil

View Larger Map

so what are you waiting for??

I'm Sick

2011-05-24T21:55:00.000+08:00

argh..I'm sick again. Sore throat...my voice gone!! Can I recover within this 2 weeks? My next performance is coming soon. Some more I gotta do a recording on next Tuesday =(

My right eyes...swollen again...don't know why. This is the 2nd time. Hopefully is not serious =(

wish myself can recover faster. *praying*

When A Rocker Meets An Angel =)

2011-05-18T16:32:00.000+08:00

This is a story bout' how a rocker meets an angel...

One day,
a rocker went into the library....
He saw a girl who looks familiar in front of him.
They passed by and gave a glance on each other.
Something funny is, actually the rocker turned back..
And looked at her again....
But the girl never notice bout' it..till now I guess >.<

Later on..
the rocker found out that the girl added him earlier in Facebook.
The rocker took the first step,
And they both became friends since then....
The girl is pretty, cute, caring..
of cuz'..she is as shy as other girls too
But...
the most important is
The rocker found his way home when he looks into her eyes.
She's like the sun,
which gonna break the dawn,
gives him the energy to live on every day.
She's like the moon,
which shinning brightly in the night,
shows him the light whenever he is in the dark.
She's like the shooting star,
shinning brightly in the velvet sky,
Bringing him the joy and happiest moment.
She's just like..
an Angel for him,
always be the first one to give him,
courage and caring.
It's so touching,
melted his heart...

After
don't know how many months..
The rocker fell in love with the angel,
and the angel fell in love with him too..
and then....
They hold their hands...
Started their very own new chapter..
together.

end

Of course..the ROCKER is me >< yea...the story may sounds like very old or not interesting but..it's my true story^^. We started bout' 3 months++ ago. I felt really happy when I'm with her. When I'm with her, I feel like I was surrounded by the comfort...it's something hard to describe with words. I like the moment when the first thing that I look at her morning sms greeting once I wake up in the morning. I enjoy the moment when she messaged me every night before she is going to sleep. I like the moment when she reminds me to have my lunch and dinner earlier everyday. She is so cute sometimes..and makes me think of her everyday. She will give me a sudden message when I think of her^^ She just like my angel, send from up above and show me the love <3

Karyee and myself!
(like this photo the most..was taken while we were eating during Zau's bday celebration)

Yup...so the angel that I was talking about is the girl in the picture ><

Honey..although we just started not long ago but..I glad that I've found you in my life. Thanks for your caring and be the one who support me always. I enjoy the moment when I was staring at your face. Every time I look into your eyes, I see our future in an instant. I think I've found my way home. I know that it might sound more than a little crazy but...I do believe, I knew I loved you before I met you and I think, I dreamed you into my life. Maybe I'm too noob sometimes, and we quarrel alot >.<. But I do believe, things will get better. I wish that you could be the one that I'm gonna spend my life with. I wanna love you with every breath that I have.

Heart you honey...thanks =)

She's my senior...she's my friend

2011-05-18T16:10:00.001+08:00

Rachel...a really funny and gila sense girl ><. She's my 大家姐 in YLS (actually her has the same age as me ><). She's a good singer and I like her voice since the first time I watch her performance. Still remembered the first time I know her...she always has the serious face and seldom talk to me but...in the end, found out that she just as bird as I am..LOL. Anyway, thanks to you that guiding me along my days in YLS. Enjoy the moment when we performed together. Glad that I can write a song for you. Hey, do you know..you look like Amy Lee from the Evanescence for me? That's why I wrote 'the knight' for you last year. Maybe we can form a band like Evanescence next time? haha..

Found out some photos that we took since my first year. Just realized that we have all grown up. Hope that we can have more chances to perform together next time. Thanks Rachel =)

大摇 2009 (when we still young)

大摇 2010 (half way to become old bird)

大摇 2011 (we are old bird now...LOL)

*Hey Rachel, wanna jam this song together?? haha

My last performance in the campus, 大摇 2011

2011-03-15T02:06:00.000+08:00

yea I know, been abandoned my blog for many many many months...so now I back!! Seeing most of my friends writing their comments on their last Dayao performance few months ago. So, I decided to write some of my feelings towards Dayao 2011, although it's a bit late..

yup...been involving in this event, 大摇 (Dayao) since 2009 and this time is my last year to join this event. Hope that I can still join this event but already announced that this is my last performance in campus..wont come back here anymore (LOL..too lansi already). But honestly, I developed my talent from the 摇篮手 (Yao Lan Shou) society, which is the main society that organize this event. Still remembered I was just a fresh new kid who only know how to hold a guitar and sing along. However, from this society..I'm glad to meet a bunch of seniors and my buddies who help me along my developing progress. They are SiangXi, Chris, Guo Rong, Mi Zheng, Wan Jia, Rachel and not forgetting my buddies...Zau, yunfei, weesim, kaiwen and palapes. I won't be able to come this stage without them especially my buddies. Anyway, we still have to move on to another level so that we can develop more and more. Always hope that I can go out there to perform and meet new friends instead of just performing in the campus circle..but still lack of the chances. I know I have to fly out there. So..not going to come back campus lu..haha.

Thought I'm going to be more free this time compare with last year when I was the producer in this event but...actually more tiring. Again...stand a chance to sing, play as a musician, doing music arrangement but got a new task, which is leading the juniors. Yea...as a senior, I should teach what I have learnt to the juniors...maybe not much that I can teach but hope that they can learn few things through out the process. This time yunfei and myself came out 2 songs and in charged the music arrangement for another 3 songs. However, 1 of the song was in acoustic..so just let the composer handle it..was quite worried bout it but it turn up not bad in overall =)

Actually yunfei and myself faced many difficulties through out the preparation for the performance. We wanna make something different compare with others in term of the music arrangement. We wanna show our identity, what we are and the message through out the song performance. Still the same..some of the others think that we were dreaming big and we can't make it due to the time constraint and lack of the knowledge in music theory. However, we proved them wrong on that night. I'm glad that SiangXi praised us that our music arrangement have to reach to another level. The most touching moment was Zau finally agreed to help us perform for the song, One Inch Closer. That song was the theme song for my very own band, One Inch Closer...I was trying to compose a song which can show our identity 1 year ago and I did it this time. I was begging Zau for few times but he just refused it but.....one day, Zau messaged me and told me that he should be part of the song and he wanted to perform that song. I was so excited...really. Zau, really thanks to you =) In addition, I would like to thanks to Daniel Khong who helps us out as a drum sessionist. I'm really respect him. Although his skills are limited, but he really put lot of effort on every song. He really dedicated and try his best to meet our expectation. I believe this is what we call..the passion of music? Ya...nearly forgotten bout' Yuan Teng. Thank you for helping me to write the lyrics..the lyrics are very touching. Sorry for bringing you inconvenient.

Received some good comments and also critics bout' this event. Some might say...the songs are too noisy lar, not nice lar, whatever...but some of them do enjoy watching the show. I believe different audience different taste. Honestly, our songs might be can't compare with the professional but I would say that we are the best among the campus level. Our songs composing are more mature..from melody, lyrics and our best advantage, music arrangement. I read some blogs from my friends who complained bout the event. For my advice, please don't critics us by just viewing from the outlook. What abandon band, superstar band, talented band..etc. SHIT YOU!! How much effort have you put in for the performance?? Do you know how hard we have gone through during the preparation? We nearly give up before the performance but we still determine cuz' we know...music is our passion, our life. I'm not talented or luckiest...I'm just hardworking and determine..that's all!

For me...maybe many of them have forgotten who am I. I'm still myself....a singer who sing along with his guitar..like to rock on the stage. I'm not that good till people can call me as musician or music arranger and not even a producer. Yea..I still got lots of space to improve but I will try hard to improve it. What do you think?

Finally, would like to thanks to my buddy, yunfei who keep me still passionate in music. I wouldn't come to this stage without you. Really enjoy the moment that we perform together as a band with our own identity instead of I'm just performing solo. The fun is there when a bunch of friends form a band and achieve a goal together. Yunfei...thanks for motivating me sometimes. I still wanna run the band to go further but we are graduating soon. Heard you got some own plan..so..I won't stop you. I still wanna continue to play as a band...but I nidda start working also..really confuse now. Maybe tonight we will have a meet up and discuss our plan?

yea...almost forgotten (I'm so forgetful). Someone very important to me came to support me that night =) em...will introduce her in upcoming blog..stay tune!! Honestly...I felt really really really excited when I saw u from the stage. It's so touch when you came to watch for my rehearsal 2 days before the event. Thanks le^^

A photographer managed to take this photo during my performance. A prophet claim that it's a good sign that I'm going to be a super rock star in the near future. LOL... Future...who knows?

To Zau and Yunfei, That's a song come into my mind whenever I think bout' the band and how we gone through the difficulties and share the stage enjoyment together. So, wanna dedicated this song to you both..it brings so much memories to me. Hope that we still can go on as a band =)

To everyone who has great passion in music as we do. I would like to dedicated this video to you all. Hope that it can inspire you to be determine and keep chasing your dream. Chill =)

Groove In Motion III

2010-07-14T00:47:00.000+08:00

Went to a gig and a national competition last month. The first one was the Groove In Motion III which held at Connection Lounge, PJ on 6/6/10. It just a charity gig but it really means a lot to us. This is the first time my band performed in the public with the others cool underground bands. Kinda nervous but it was excited when we received this gig. SEE!!! my band name, '1 Inch Closer' was in the poster above!! And we are the opening band!! 1000x Thanks to Sim who intro us the organizer.

On that day, we reached 1 hour earlier before the gig started. Since my band is the opening band. So our sound check session was shifted to the last slot. A bit nervous when I went up the stage to do my sound checking because all the musicians from other bands were looking at you. When we ran part of the songs on stage, I realized the my vocal not loud enough from the monitor...and I was too nervous til my vocal got a bit off pitch. Saw some of them were laughing a bit..aiyo~~ I asked the sound man to adjust the volume a bit and everything seems fine now.

YES!! The final moment has came!! When the audience has reached, the host announced our band, really excited but a bit nervous too. So, we performed 4 songs and a short instrumental. The songs are Glamorous Sky, Hello, Without You (own composed) and My Time (own composed). Argh!! still cant put my feeling on singing the songs but overall still ok..some parts didn't sing well. Guess I really nervous..performing in front of so many musicians. After that, we stayed there to watch other bands performance. Some of them are really great, especially Lang. I'm really impressed with them.

The whole gig ended around 7.30pm. Some of the performer and audience came to me and gave me some good comments. All of them hope to see us all in the future. Yea.....am excited cuz' did left a good impression for them. It would be a good starting point for us =)

During our performance....gonna eat the mic already.

current line up for One Inch Closer, Raymee(right pic), our new drummer

Dayao 2010 photos

2010-06-08T23:59:00.000+08:00

oops @.@!! so dusty here and spider webs all around!!

2010-06-08T03:22:00.000+08:00

I know~~ I'm too lazy... Didn't update my blog for almost half a year. Can I give an excuse that I'm too busy in this half year til I too tired to update? LOL!!

So many many many things happened on me in this 1st half year. In the beginning of the year, I was busy preparing for the biggest song composing performance in UM(Dayao 2010). Since I'm the producer for this event, really got lots of stuff to handle..from stage preparation, practice, administration....etc. Somemore I do performed as musician and also singer...still need to write songs..gosh!! During the preparation period..I know someone not satisfy with me and stab me from behind also. I knew it!! Anyway, still manage to get everything done on time and it goes well. Maybe can't say the event is perfect but it's nice and everyone enjoyed it. So, expectation achieved. The most important thing..she really came to watch my performance. Felt so touching, thank you. I really appreciate it. By the way, I failed my mid-term that time but I felt it's worth. In the end, I managed to get A for that subject and shut my lecturer's mouth!!

Bout my band, 1 Inch Closer. We nearly disband because of some issues. Some of us actually not happy with the band and some continue cuz have to pursue study. But we still hold it on and just left 3 of us, me, zau and cloudfly. I really appreciate that both of them still wanna continue with the band. We still try really really hard to improve ourselves. That time was the lowest peak for my band. Recently, we grabbed the chance to perform at a gig with other famous bands. Luckily, we manage to find our friend, Raymee to be our sessionist as a drummer. Will write more details bout the recent gig soon.

ya...I helped my friend played as guitarist for the national song composing competition. He got 2 songs which went into semi-final. The song arrangement a bit rush because he asked us to help him his songs at the last minute. Damn....can you ask us earlier next time? We are not superman and we got own stuff to do also. Please lar wei.... Anyway, both songs gained into final. So, I think it's worth to put effort on that but felt a bit sad....the song which composed by myself can't even gain into semi-finals. The final will held soon...forgotten the date..ahaha

Now, I working as an intern at Synovate, a market research company. My task?? damn...I've assigned to Calling Department which means I have to call for finding respondents to answer my questionnaire everyday. Everyday I'll be doing the same thing..repeat and repeat again. Tired and bored. No choice...it's one of the course that I have to take to fulfill my bachelor degree. Hopefully can finished it soon.

Bout my job at music center..everything goes well so far. I can feel that the students like me maybe because of my style and they proud to have a rocker teacher. LOL. The principal helped me recruit more and more students now. Currently, I have 8 students under me. So, my part time salary increased.

Lastly, I think I managed to put it down. During this half year, I really think a lot. I wanna get you back but can we live like last time?? Inside my heart, I still have you but I know....I have to take you away piece by piece from day to day. Seeing you still can live so happy now then I'll be relief. Thank you for everything....hope that we are still friend. I have to move on right now!

ahhaha..my favourite quote: *I gotta kick start now!!!*

you....

2010-02-03T03:05:00.000+08:00

I know....it's been around 2 months..

but why I still keeping that memories? I should give up but why I still stubborn? thinking still have that little chance? oh..come on..don't make me laugh..

Little update!!

2010-02-03T02:24:00.000+08:00

actually..I really don't have much time to blog recently because of the upcoming live band performance. But...sometimes just feel emo and wanna post something here..

Bout' my preparation for the performance... I'm really scare..worry that my band can't finish on time..and it affected others. I don't want to fail everyone. Felt like I'm such a failure..nothing good in me. Study? ya..I can get a not bad result although I not really study but...it's almost 2 years I'm studying degree..I still don't know what I'm studying, what's the knowledge I obtain. All I know is study to score so I won't fail everyone...especially my parents who give high hope on me. Seeing everyone keep talking bout economics issue but I really don't know what are they talking about. Basketball? Still no improvement.. Socialize? no..people don't dare to approach me...maybe they think like I'm some kind of weirdo. I don't have confidence in making new friends either. Music? no..no..no improvement too. Seeing my bandmates all have improved but I still stay on the same floor..what have I done all these years? I really not good in planning and doing everything. And I keep causing others trouble..seeing their blog scolding me indirectly..I'm such a failure..

Everyday, I motivate myself, saying that everyday will be a good day..working hard for everyday..wanna enjoy my life but sometimes just will feel the pressure..don't know where it comes from. Don't know why...performing on stage has become a pressure for me since last few months..I will feel nervous sometimes..previously I won't, I will enjoy every moment on stage. I wanna find back the way I am..the one who can rocking on the stage..but I have lost. Maybe as my bandmates said, this year will be my last performance in UM too..I wanna left something good memories here before I leave. I wanna move further with my bandmates but...can we? Some of us will graduate soon..think everyone of us will have our own path. I wanna appreciate every moment that we spent together... Met a very good taxi driver on my birthday..he told me..I must not have this type of mind set, 'playing music just because of my interest'. Even playing music can bring earn money and a future also..who knows? It's a miracle.. If you have this 'just for interest' thinking..probably you won't go far. I agreed with him but we still have to face the reality.. Anyway, thanks for his advice. What he said really motivated me, I know..my future career is not music but I will try my best to improve myself..make sure I will have a best performance and enjoy every moment...currently still working on it. Hopefully I can see a shining light soon..

I do face some sad and difficult moments...just wish that someone was there for me but...it won't happen.. Probably She still think that I'm wasting time with all these stupid stuff...still useless as usual..no secure.. Even my parents not supporting me.. Not going to care..I just wanna do something that I do is right so that I won't regret in my life.. Probably I will smile and telling my legend stories to my grandson when they asked me bout my PRS guitar..LOL. But..do you know..you are the one who can enlightened me when I'm falling into the deep hole?

I wanna finish my task on time...then I can throw everything away..and just have fun on the stage with my bandmates that already accompany me through this 1 year..

so..will you all coming to my performance? it's on 24/2/10,7pm in my campus..

You are not alone!!

2010-01-08T02:45:00.000+08:00

Just got a phone call from my closest dude..after I listened what he told me...I also don't know what can I do for him. I felt the sad feeling just like him too. Maybe we both are the same type. Still remember he cried on the phone..It is the first time that he cried in front of me. All this while I thought he is very strong cuz' he is the one who always protect me when we were kids. But I can feel...he is very down right now. It's really really a shocking news when he told me he has broke up with her. "How come? I thought all this while you both are very sweet?" I said. In this world, there's really really hard to find a perfect match. But if you found one, you really have to appreciate it. Tried to don't let it go. I can see....you are a nice guy just like me(lol...cuz' we are from the same gene huh?) You put a lot of effort...but things are...it just happened like that. It's part of our life..just a test for us. What I can say is...maybe she's not your 'the one'. You are young...I bet that you can find a better one. But..anyway,don't change the way you are right now. Some of my friends has became playboy once they broke up with the one they love the most. I just care you...don't follow my friends footsteps k?

sigh...I do wish to give you some good advice just now but...even me also same as you..still haven't recover yet..I really felt the sadness not long ago just the same as yours right now. By the way, you are not alone. I'm always be with your side. Anything..I will do it for you. It's time for me to protect you. You are not alone..be strong. We will work hard together k? See you on this saturday then we will have beer for whole night...chill^^

2010!!!

2010-01-01T16:03:00.000+08:00

Yea^^...today is 1/1/2010!! A brand new year!!

Let's review what I have done last year..hmm.. In the first half year..everything quite good..have my first big performance, form a band, started to have performance at outside, academic result still not bad tho'.. but the next half year...not really well..band crisis, too pressure with all my task,working hard on my study and the saddest thing happen just one month ago~~sigh.. Anyway, still got some excited stuff..doing video live recording and recently got my music job. Consider not bad already right?

Now..have to continue my goal which haven't achieve last year..have to work hard starting from now!! Don't wanna think of other stuff anymore...put more effort working on my target!! LOL..i only know how to say but..hopefully I can have more confidence on myself..really work on it this time. Suddenly felt I'm old already..gotta be 22 in next 10 days..no time for me to waste anymore. Haha..think I got this motivation after watching a new Japanese drama, Buzzer Beat. The main character Naoki is a basketball player, always hope that he can be the top player in the future but he can't even be the starting 5 in his team although he is really talented. He is so weak, lack of motivation and confidence too. Even his 2 years long girlfriend find another guy and break up with him but Naoki is really really a nice guy...really love and care for her. His girlfriend just can't understand him. After that, Naoki really work hard and there's a pretty girl really support her. She is a musician. They both encourage each other and believe that they can succeed their dream. Finally, they both become a couple and I still remember the ending an old man told the pretty girl..'Love Makes You Strong'. Isn't that cool? LOL..but it's hard to happen in this real world leh.. Anyway, I must believe myself that I can do it. So, let's work hard together my fellas..

Finally, wish myself can have a best performance in the upcoming concert. It meas a lot to me and my bandmates since some of us are going to graduate soon. These also may create chance to have more outside performance. And..since I'm the producer for that concert too..of course I wanna make it the best ever concert in my campus. I really change many ideas instead of doing the same like every year. So,hopefully this time can bring the great impact. Thirdly, wish that my 4th college basketball team can move further..I have started to train myself..really wanna help them to win the title this year. Lastly, this sem is really sucks for me..nobody can guide me doing assignment anymore..everything I have to work it anymore. Hopefully I can get through and get a better result than last year. Happy new Year to everyone...enjoy the wonderful 2010 and follow your dream...way up to our glamorous sky^^

Jason Rockz = Music teacher??

2009-12-16T00:00:00.000+08:00

Yea...start working as a part time music teacher this month. Now teaching at Mama Treble Clef Studio at Carrefour, Sri Petaling. The boss and the principal are so friendly and they being quite nice to me. Lol..I always chit chat with the boss when I'm free. He always shared his experience and talk about the local music scence. Since I'm still in the learning stage, I only teach the beginner and lower intermediate level. Currently...only 2 students under me and I also help other teachers do replacement class. Lol..meet different students while doing this replacement class..from 9-25 year old..quite funny tho. Yup...principal promise me that will help me get more students under me as possible...so..I can get higher salary. Currently, my salary is 50% of every student's monthly fees.

Actually..found that my monthly allowance is not enough to me. So, I have to find a part time job but cant work for fix time. So, working as part time music teacher is the best choice for me and..it's my interest as well.. Not bad right? can work what I like and at the same time earn some money. Besides, I can borrow as many books as I like frome the music center. So, I can learn more without wasting money to buy new books. And...teaching the students can help me improve my skills as well...since I lack of time to practice. Now I can make use of my time to practice more while teaching. Yea, I have to take part some performacen which organize by my music center also. Not bad huh?

ya..forgotten to tell you guys..I'm teaching guitar(acoustic,classical,electric) on every Saturday.. So if you guys interested to learn from me..just go to Mama Treble Clef Studio and book my time..just tell them you want Jason to teach...haha^^

inside Mama Treble Clef Studio

I'm Sick!!

2009-12-14T02:21:00.000+08:00

haiz.....seldom have this serious kind of sick since 6 months ago. That time was having lung infection and cause me lay down on the bed for few days. This time don't know what I have eaten..cause me Diarrhea and vomit for whole night. The next day, got headache, dehydration and muscle pain..was sleeping for whole day...don't feel like wake up. Now, I can't sleep because have been slept for around 16 hours just now.. Maybe what my parents said were true...I always lack of sleep so when sickness strike on me...I will easily down and need more sleeps...

anyway,I'm feeling better now...hopefully I can get well soon..

Charco!!

2009-12-04T04:41:00.000+08:00

Finally...gave back the Charco to Cembery. Charco has been accompanying me for 1 month++. Anything I also tell Charco...no matter sad or happy stuff. If Charco alive..really hope that it can deliver what I want to say to Cembery. Lol..I rather talk to a soft toy than telling Cembery..why I so useless huh?

Charco...can you tell her how I feel?? Goodbye Charco...

*everything is end here.....*

I'm weak!!

2009-12-03T03:23:00.001+08:00

thought I'm very tough but.....in the end I'm weak inside..when can I heal myself back??

be TOUGH Jason!! your Tremonti is always by your side and so does your One Inch Closer.

the love which I shouldn't keep anymore..do I have to cry for you? T.T

Do I Have to Cry For You - Nick Carter
Don't wanna close the door,
Don't wanna give up on it
Don't wanna fight no more,
We'll find the way around it
Where's the love we had?...
We can make it last

Tell me what I gotta be,
Tell me what you wanna do
'Cause I can't live my life
The way you want me to
You know I can't go on
Living like we do
Do I have to cry for you?
Do I have to cry for you?

So tell me what it's for,
If there's no winner in it?
Nobody's keeping score,
Let's start from the beginning
Can we make it last
Where’s the love we had

Tell me what I gotta be,
Tell me what you wanna do
'Cause I can't live my life
The way you want me to
You know I can't go on
Living like we do
Do I have to cry for you?
Do I have to cry for you?

Do I gotta stay in the cold of night
Till the morning light, yeah
Do I have to say
I will let you get away

What I gotta be,
Tell me what you wanna do
'Cause I can't live my life
The way you want me to
You know I can't go on
Living like we do
Do I have to cry for you?
Yeah

Yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Oh no
You know I can't go on
Living like we do
Do I have to cry for you?
Do I have to cry for you?

The Answer~~

2009-12-02T01:45:00.000+08:00

I know..God have given me the answer few months ago..why I still stubborn??..told myself that I can change everything but I'm too weak..useless...

God..give me more courage to move on and so does Cembery too... From now on, nobody will make you sad, cry and disappointed. Wish you have a better future...I'll disappear from your sight and you won't see me anymore.. Hope that you will understand me one day....

"If I wasn't such a fool,
Right now I'll be holding you,
There's nothing that I couldn't do,
Baby if you only knew..."

lyrics taken from Without you-Jason..

whole again

2009-11-28T16:57:00.000+08:00

like this song recently. It's my favorite since I'm 17. Rock and touching...who say rocker can't sing love song?? lol.. This song sung by local band tho..support local music scence^^ local rock never die!!

Edge Of Fire - Whole Again lyrics

I will love u till the day I die
I would tell u how much I'll need u everyday
for my life long to love some one like u
with a heart silhouetted the perfect passion

I would try to be a better lover
I don't care if I lose my all
cause it's u I've been dreamin' for this life time
so here's my heart ,waitin' for u to take it baby

Come & take my heart tonite
cause it's u I've been waitin' for all the while
come & take my heart tonite
make me whole again

I see clouds filling up the moon
& the greens turnin' into blue & faded
I would say things were wrong & now I'm missin' u
I will have to make amends cause it'll be till the end

do u think I would stop for what I've been leavin' out these nights
girl I've been cravin' u'd be mine all mine
u are all that have made my life, I won''t let u down this time
baby I want u back here in my life forever



Lyrics | Edge Of Fire lyrics - Whole Again lyrics

My new baby!!

2009-11-26T18:59:00.000+08:00

Today followed Zhao and Palapes to JS and CK shop. Heard that Zhao planned to buy a new electric guitar. He's been searching for few products but haven't try before. So..we went to the shops to try out DIME electric guitars. Seriously...I like it's outfit...so freaking rock man..really suite for hard and metal rocker. Anyway..I have bought a new baby few months ago and it cost me a lot..so I can't buy anymore lu T.T

So..Zhao tried the guitar and told me that the tone is too metal. Indeed, when you at this kind of guitars..it's really go for metal. Later, I tried the guitar too..and it's true..too metal but I really like it since I'm a metal fans. However, since I have to play variety of music..I still perfer my new baby..haha!! Heard the teacher said that new stock will be coming up next month. So..wish Zhao can find his new baby la.. By the way..saw the Endless Eternal's vocalist, Haoto works at JS shop as a music teacher. Lol...like their songs so so much and normally see her on stage only but now first time seeing her in front of me and talk to me..and she looks pretty too..hehe^^

Later, we went to CK shop to see other guitars. Saw many Multieffects at there..but mostly cost 1.4k++. Found the POD X3 live and it cost 2.2k...walao eh...how long shall I take to save my money to buy it leh..sigh..

Finally, just wanna share my new baby with everyone..bought it at Mahogany 2 months ago and it cost me RM2.8k. Actually it only cost RM2.4k but it is only for silver colour but..I perfer black colour. So, end up I have to pay 400bucks more..damn..

PRS Tremonti SE!! I just call it Tremonti....my new brother..it will go for war together with me by next year..haha^^

I'm back!!!

2009-11-26T01:31:00.000+08:00

Finally....after this whole freaking busy semester..I'm back!! It's been a long time that I did not update my blog. Maybe this semester is too busy for me or...lazy blogging gua~~ There are so many things happen on me during this 2nd half year(or this year). Maybe what people say is true, 21st is the time you change your life..to become a man. Lol...got too many things to share, don't know where to start.

Firstly, think I have a quite wonderful journey this year. At the beginning, I start from a normal guy who singing alone and finally came to the big stage to show out my talent to everyone. Maybe for the professional out there..it's not that big deal but how many people will get the chance to sing their own song in front of 1000+ audience? and hear they shout on you even they don't know you? I really appreciate it a lot....it's really fun and so excited to be on stage. However, recently...I seldom have that feeling anymore. Don't know why..maybe when I started to be serious on the stage performance..I will have my own fulfillment. Although audience still think I have brought out a nice performance, but I still not satisfy with myself...still I'm not good enough..still can perform better. Maybe these stuff has caused the pressure on me. Anyway, I know..I like to sing on stage!! This is what I can do before I graduate..I know, the chance will be lesser or even not anymore when I start to work in the future. So..I really appreciate every chance that I have now.

The second things...Hm..even more interesting.. Don't know how...got a bunch of rockers invite me to form a band together. It's my dream to have a band since I'm 16 and...finally, I found it!! Indeed, forming a band is not an easy thing...got many conflict among us. But so far.....we still continue..hopefully this time we have settled all the previous stuff. The most important thing is the process...just wanna tell my bandmates..no matter what..I love you guys. Without you guys...I think I still playing music alone. You all not just as a freind for me but my brothers..

Besides, I think I took too many responsibilities this year...some tasks are not what I want but no choice... I know I have to help them because the societies are the organization who motivate me and bring me up..no matter what..I still have to contribute to them. But me myself facing a lot of problems...the worst is the time management..I still can't manage well on that. Hopefully I can overcome it and..my attitute too..I'm too lazy most of the time. Try to motivate myself everyday but seems like it does not work..sigh..still finding the way~~

Still got a lot of stuff to share...lazy to write now. However, when I think back what happened on me this year...got some happy moments but also sad moments too...maybe this is the part of our life..some difficulties are just a test on me..I know, I can overcome but maybe take long time.. Ya..suddenly think back that I've made 3 wishes during my 21st birthday, have a nice performance during my Dayao09 and have nice band. Guess I have acheived the first two wishes but for the third one....sigh...think it will be never acheive.. Maybe I'm too greedy gua...made so many wishers, don't deserve to have the last one..haha XD. However, I'm glad with what I have now.. The third one just let the God help me decide...

Still got a lot of stories coming up next...hopefully I'll not be lazy to update my blog again la..haha

Photos for Suac Animangaki 2009

2009-07-01T01:47:00.001+08:00

Suac Animangaki 2009

2009-07-01T01:25:00.000+08:00

Went to the Animangaki 2009 event which held at Sunway University College last 2 days ago(28/06/09). Actually I didn't plan to go there since the venue is so far away from my house, and I have to take public transport to go there lo..the worst is no friend wanna accompany me also(a bit cham =.=)... However, I was attracted those songs which gonna perform by those band. Those were my favourite songs, such as kimi ga iru(OST Initial-D), 1/3 no Junjou no Kanjou(OST Samurai X), Glamarous Sky(OST Nana) and many more.. Some of the songs will be performing by my friends(gotta go there to support also ma). Furthermore, I wanna check it out how the other band perform Glamorous Sky because my band has performed this song before. So, think I gotta go there as my learning trip lo...haha^^

Fortunately, my friend, Kin Hon agreed to accompany me to go there after I begged him for few times. My bro was going with me too after I lied to him that there will be many "leng lui" cosplay in the event.. So, three noob noobs went there by bus lo...take quite long time to get there leh..

When we reached there, a fella asked us to sign in an online game account once we walked into the entrance. So..we just sign in lo.. Then, we walked around and have a look. We felt a bit disappointed lo.. Those cosplay looked weird and no pretty chicks. Besides those toys model and the anime drawing, I don't see any ohter special stuff lo..maybe it was orgenized by the students,consider not bad gua.. And one more things, I noticed that so many Geeks, so called "Otaku" in japanese were there. Some of the organizing committee went up the stage don't know doing what at there...felt like they were 'syok sendiri' at the stage =.=!! Then, I saw David, Sim and Siang Xi has reached there..so we planned to go Sunway Pyramid makan. Guess what?? We have our meal at Sakae Sushi..WooHoo!! Anyway, I also have a chance to have meal with other cool musician like Chris, Seikan, Gary... (p/s: David, Sim, Gary and Siang Xi are from Hybrid while Chris and Seikan are from Endless Eternal)

After that, the gig has started. Hybrid was the opening band. They performed 6 songs. 2 of those songs are my favourite, Kimi Ga Iru and 1/3 no Junjou no Kanjou. Their performance was so nice although I think some of the them played the wrong notes sometimes and the vocalist sang wrong lyrics for some little parts(sorry r my friend..hehe^^) but they were the best overall.. The second band was performed by Flicked Mind. They performed some Tokyo Jihen songs and Doraemon theme songs.. Em..I liked the guitarist but I'm not a fan of Tokyo Jihen and Doraemon neither.. Can't understand that why the audience were so high when the band performed Doraemon( because most of them are Otaku gua...) The third band was a J-Rock metal band, can't remeber their band name.. I like those heavy metal stuff but I noticed that most of the audience not interested in it..that time was so cold man..nobody even care what they were singing but I'm quite enjoy with it.. Lastly, Zeolite performed. The vocalist was a girl and she looked younger than me but her voice sounds so nice. Think I gotta learn something from her. They performed my favourite song, Glamorous Sky..the music arrangement for this song was ok(I still pefer my own band version) but the way she sang the song was nice^^

Finally, the event ended at 6 sth.. So, Kin Hon, my bro and myself quickly rushed out lo.. You know la..we took public transport ma..scare later traffic jam..especially at this time. Conclusion, I have learnt something after seeing the band performances. The way the vocalist performed and the music arrangement for j-rock. Those have brought the inspiration for me in J-rock stuff.. Think I will go those gig again next time.. That's all^^

Hello everyone^^

2009-06-29T16:17:00.000+08:00

Hello everyone^^. First time open a blog..still figuring out how to use it (since I damn noob in coputer stuff). Actually I am lazy in blogging but all my friends around are blogging freak. Finally, I was influenced by them..

Hm...can't think of anything to write currently. Hope to post some interesting stuff next time la...

Anyway, just wanna shout out at here, "Rock Never Dies".. haha^^